You may be wondering what the picture and the title have in common.

Let me fill you in!

So, three years ago now, my husband passed, pretty unexpectedly. I found him and did CPR. Let’s just say that on that day, my life changed.

I’d created a life and had a plan for the immediate future – a future with my husband. We had been through a lot. He had heart disease from before we’d met, and over our 20 years together, he was hospitalized 11 times that I can recall. Stents, a defibrillator, one thing after another.

Then the year before he passed, he was diagnosed with cancer. After a battle we waged together, he was pronounced ‘clear’. He was in remission.

The next weekend, he was gone.

Needless to say, my plans died with him.

I’ve taken some time – more than I’d planned on – to recover. The whole thing was complicated by a series of losses – a couple of very good friends, my foster brother, my ex-boyfriend (then friend), all passed, and fires swept through my ‘home town’ – the only place that actually FELT like home – making it impossible for me to move back there.

Hmmmm…..

I spent a lot of time thinking about what to do next. I love my house – we built it, and it’s exactly what I wanted. But… I have little community here, even after 12 years. I have a portable business, which by this point had petered out to almost nil, but I can build a business anywhere. I started thinking even more outside the box.

I decided that, with as little energy as I’ve had after all that’s happened, I needed to slow down. If I stay here, I’ll be back to working 60 hours + per week, just to pay the bills and the high mortgage. But… what if I didn’t HAVE a mortgage?

Interesting….

So I started looking around at other options for places to live.

Then I went to Italy.

Let me explain something: I’m not that brave. Going to Italy for a long vacation was out of my comfort zone, and while I had INTENSE moments of loneliness and isolation, I also made friends, talked to street vendors, used my Italian, walked probably a hundred miles or more, and just FELT GOOD…. for the first time in YEARS.

I was able to eat healthier. I could walk out of my hotel and go in any direction and find a little café with great salads and people-watching. And I walked, all day, every day. I loved it!

I talked to my friend about living in Italy, but we discovered it’s not the best government for expats, and so the search was on. I wanted to find a place in Europe where I can live mortgage-free, work less and have a great quality of life. For me, walking is essential. I had my ankle cartilage shatter in both ankles 12 years ago, and the only way to keep mobile is to keep walking, a lot. I want to be in a place where I can walk to the store, to the beach, to the cafés and be able to have that pedestrian lifestyle, or hop in the car and go explore.

I’ve always loved to travel. I’ve been to Egypt a few times, Europe a few times, Hawaii a couple of times. I’ve been all over the US, although strangely I’ve never been to many of the main national parks, even though I’m a wildlife and wildlands activist and conservationist. I speak about 5 languages – not fluently, but enough to get along, and when I’m in-country with a language, I’m more than conversational. I love cultures and seeing how places are different, but until Italy, I’ve always had my husband along for the overseas trips. Traveling overseas solo is a very different feeling. As a solo woman, I feel uncomfortable, but… I deal with it.

Probably the hardest thing for me is eating alone. I’ve NEVER liked that. I’ll admit to grabbing some food and scurrying back to my hotel to eat, but then, I’d go back out.

I had a chance to do something I’d always wanted to do, that my hubby was resistant to – I got to sail around the Amalfi Coast on a clipper ship. It was AWESOME!

It was also awkward for me. I was there with some people I didn’t know – we’d been booked together for the trip and shared a table at dinner, but for the rest of the time, I was mostly on my own. Many people on the ship didn’t speak English, and I was one of the few ‘solo’s’ aboard, so I struggled to go explore on my own. Luckily, I had one ‘friend I’d never met’ aboard, so we spent some time together on the trip. And I made some friends along the way.

It was challenging for me, coming out of such a long hibernation, then going out on an adventure of a lifetime, but I SO needed it. And being able to survive that, and actually have a great time, really is one of the motivators for me to embark on an overseas move.

I’m still leaving ‘space’ for things to change. I may end up having something come up that keeps me here, but unless that happens, I’m selling my house, packing up a shipping container and moving my entire life overseas.

When? Well, Covid ate my scouting trip, so timing is amorphous right now, but I’m hoping within the next few months.

My plan? As soon as I can travel (and be able to get back INTO the US!!), I’ll do a scouting trip, meet with my overseas realtor and look at houses, and if all goes well, I’ll make an offer on one before I even come home. I’ll put my house on the market, pack up my container and go. Poof!

Am I scared?

Yep.

Will it stop me?

Nope.

One thing I like about an overseas move is you have the expat community to pull friends from. I don’t have that here, and since I work from home, all my friends are scattered everywhere, with just a couple in my area. I want to go hiking, and I would rather go with others. I want to go biking, kayaking, adventuring, and while I WILL go alone, I’d rather not. But overseas, there are also Meetups, the expats, the language classes, and all the ‘getting to know my new home’ activities that will allow me to make friends in a way I didn’t get to here, because of my ankle issues. I’ve tried since then, but it’s hard when you’re not into the bars, don’t have kids, and are… well… ME. Pthth.

So, that’s part of how my life is about to change.

And, I’m changing my business direction.

And, I’m changing cultures and countries.

And, I may be losing my closest friend – my soul-bonded cat. Ack! THAT scares me. I’ve had SO much loss already, and he’s only 14. Hopefully he rallies and comes with me. I’m leaving a lot of things I love behind – my home, the nature, my raccoons and all the wildlife, my friends and family scattered around the country.

But I also hope to leave the isolation behind as well, and for that, I’ll brave anything. I’ll gain new nature to explore, new animals to meet and get to understand, and new adventures, and I can always come back to visit, so…. win-win.

Scary. Exciting. It’s all the same.

I’ll keep you posted as things progress.

J.

(Oh, and if you have some fear coming up and want some tools to bypass it, you can download my free tools and tips here: www.spiritualityfortoday.com/releasefear)